Our Children,
Ourselves
For better and for worse, the
children of lawyers are learning
their parent’s trade.
BALANCING ACTS
My husband and I—both lawyers—had another two-lawyer family over for Sunday night
dinner. There were six children in all; our 3-year-old, Laila, was the youngest. The big-
ger kids finished their burgers and went off to play, but she was still eating. Michael said
ANDY WARD
that she would need to eat if she wanted dessert.
Trying to divert him, she asked for more juice. My
husband said that she had to take three more bites.
A few moments passed, and her tone became louder.
“Okay, I took three bites; I did.” My husband, Michael, looked at her doubtfully. Laila pinched her
thumb and index finger together to indicate the size
of the morsels she had eaten. Her eyes began to bug
out of her head. The other mom mused quietly, “Is
this how he handles deals at work?” (He is general
counsel of a media company.)
I rushed in to seal the alliance: “Laila, I think
that Daddy meant three big bites.” Michael, seeking compromise, said, “You take those bites while
I get the juice.” But it was too late. Laila was apoplectic. Dinner was over. My friend leaned toward
me. “In our house, we don’t negotiate with terrorists,” she said.
I had some sympathy for Laila. She had argued
her position and even supplied evidence to support
her claim. As a lawyer, I can relate. Laila was already
acting in the best tradition of the house in which
she was being raised. Lawyers know how to craft an
argument. They know how to reason, analogize, cut
deals, negotiate. All are useful skills, but the dinner
table incident left me doubting whether lawyering
makes for good parenting.
MORE ONLINE
REAL-LIFE TALES
of lawyers trying to
balance work and
family at
americanlawyer.com.
